What I am doing about it.

        If there is one thing I have learned in the past 11 years about myself and my weight issue, it's that I cannot force myself to do anything I am not truly ready to do. I knew 100% I was ready to lose my weight and I quickly figured out a program for myself. I gathered all the information I had learned about food, calories, healthy-living, and excersise over the years and on Febuary 18, 2010 I wrote in my food dairy for the first time. I wrote out what I ate at my meals, how many calories they were, what I did for excersise that day, and how much water I drank. 1810 calories, 30 minutes on the tredmill and 7 bottles of water. After repeating this day 7 times, by the end of my first week I had lost 4 pounds. I could not beleive it. I knew this would work and I needed to continue.
        The second week on my plan, I lost 5.4 pounds. That made my total loss for a two week period 9.4 pounds. I was so mad at myself. I thought, if this was all I had to do why did I wait so long. I remember crying. Crying for joy because I had lost nearly 10 pounds, and also crying because I knew I could have done this sooner. The third week I did the same exact meal plan and excerise, but only lost 1 pound. I was happy. I knew that if I lost a lot more in such a short amount of time I would give up for being to successful. Thats just how werid I am, I guess.
        By a month or two into my plan I realized how truly difficult changing your life-style is. Something as simple as drinking a beverage other than water would ruin my whole day. This became a job. I had to count my calories, only eat 1600 a day (give or take a few), make time to workout in my already filled up schedule, if I was going to be eating anywhere other than home, figure out what I would eat, look it up online and make sure it would fit into my day, and get enough sleep. Just thinking about it all at once makes my head hurt! Then, I really wasn't angry at myself anymore. I knew why all my diets had failed before, I just wasn't in the right place in my life yet. I didn't have the time management skills, sense of responsibilty, and the will-power yet to actually achieve something so great.
        7 months later I am still following the same basic plan. I have had some really bad days, even weeks and months. There have been times I went out to dinner and made huge mistakes. At the beginning of the summer I didn't lose a pound for over a month and a half. I will have an amazing day and totally ruin it with a binge at night. Yes, I have fucked up royally. However, I know that it's okay. You can't try to do this and except to be perfect, or I promise it will not work. You have to reflect on the situation and figure out why you made a bad choice. For example, I know that if I sit in my kitchen bored I will go and eat for no reason. So now, I don't sit in there unless I am eating a planned meal, talking to my family or doing homework. Changing your life like I did really makes you look at yourself and figure out a lot.
        The point of the matter is, you can be successful and still be human. You can hit major bumps in the road and keep going. It is what you have to do if you want to lose a significant amount of weight, make mistakes and learn.