School has started and whoa... It has already been crazy. Days that I student teach (Tuesdays and Thursdays) I have breakfast, snack, lunch and my afternoon snack on the go. I leave at 7am and don't get home until 5pm. SO a lot of planning happens. I pack at least 2 fruits, stuff like trail mix, multi grain goldfish, a peanut butter and low sugar jelly sand which on wholewheat and at least half a days worth of water, so 2 to 3 bottles. It takes time and effort to figure out what I need and want. However, it is crucial to my journey. If I didn't pack my food I would panic. I would end up probably skipping meals, being so hungry and making bad choices. I would hate to put myself in that situation. You shouldn't either! It takes a lot of effort to be healthy and busy at the same time.
So this week I lost a pound. I'm SO happy about it. It is a great step in the right direction. Considering how busy this week was, I feel like that 1 pound loss is like 10 pounds. Like I always say, even the littlest loss should be celebrated.
One thing I have NEVER revealed on my blog is my actual weight. Kind of strange I know. However, I have been completely ashamed of that number. I feel like moving forward I need to start accepting where I was, and be happy with where I am now, I have worked so hard. So here it goes... I started this journey weighing 294.4 pounds. As of this morning, I weigh 182.4 pounds. My heart is pounding as I even type the numbers out on here. I know it's time though to just get it out in the open. I hope me revealing my weight inspires my readers just a little more. Moving forward, my "ultimate goal" is between 150-155 pounds. That is where I feel I will be most comfortable and be able to maintain my healthy lifestyle best. Like I have said before my journey isn't about getting skinny, it is about being healthy and happy inside.
Until next week :)
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
update + journal entry.
My final semester at my college has begun. I am so nervous, and excited to just get it over with! I am happy to be back into a routine because my winter break was a total bust. My plan going in was to lose 5 pounds, simple enough? NO. I didn't anticipate the holidays being such a challenge for me, but they were and thats life. Moving right along from that situation and getting myself back on track. My weigh ins were all over the place over the past month. I put on about 3 pounds, but as of yesterday, I am lower than my pre-holiday weight by a half pound... YAY! I feel great again, energetic, healthy and light. I have lost 112 pounds in total. It is crazy to even think about losing that much, so I don't.
I have started doing some yoga at home. I am a little intimidated to go to a studio just yet. I want to get more comfortable with it in the mean time. So far though I love it. It is calming and challenging all at once. It is perfect for me to do, since I stress myself out very easily. I think yoga will fit perfectly into my new lifestyle.
So, this semester, I have to take a fitness and wellness class. It is required to graduate, because I certainly do not think I would have taken this class freely. It is basically a health/gym class. Let me tell you all the bad feelings I didn't know I had about "gym" class. I have the worst anxiety about it. High school gym was horrific for me. Never did anything, almost didn't graduate high school on time because of it. I was way to self conscious to participate in group activities, unless in was ping pong. Getting called thunder thighs during a fitness test didn't help either! Well anyway, I have this "gym" class tomorrow and I have already lost sleep over it. I literally keep telling myself over and over, "you are not fat or in high school anymore." I am hoping the first class will make me feel differently. We will see...
I haven't post any of my journals in forever, so I will today. This was yesterdays entry.
Breakfast:
Low sugar apple&cinnamon oatmeal: 120
Small banana: 100
Coffee w/ fat free milk: 30
Total: 250
Snack:
Kashi trail mix bar: 140
Lunch:
1 1/2 cup of low sodium veggie soup: 90
2 multigrain wispa crackers: 90
Apple: 80
Total: 260
Snack:
Cheddar rice cakes: 140
Dinner: (stir-fry type thing)
Serving size of whole grain pasta: 200
4 oz Chicken (broiled): 150
Roasted veggies: 50
Total: 400
Snack:
4 cups of popcorn: 100
2 small clementines: 60
Total: 160
Total for day: 1490 calories. Exercise: 30 min yoga-30 min treadmill. Water: 80 oz
See how much you could eat and lose weight? All I do is eat, it's insane..
I have started doing some yoga at home. I am a little intimidated to go to a studio just yet. I want to get more comfortable with it in the mean time. So far though I love it. It is calming and challenging all at once. It is perfect for me to do, since I stress myself out very easily. I think yoga will fit perfectly into my new lifestyle.
So, this semester, I have to take a fitness and wellness class. It is required to graduate, because I certainly do not think I would have taken this class freely. It is basically a health/gym class. Let me tell you all the bad feelings I didn't know I had about "gym" class. I have the worst anxiety about it. High school gym was horrific for me. Never did anything, almost didn't graduate high school on time because of it. I was way to self conscious to participate in group activities, unless in was ping pong. Getting called thunder thighs during a fitness test didn't help either! Well anyway, I have this "gym" class tomorrow and I have already lost sleep over it. I literally keep telling myself over and over, "you are not fat or in high school anymore." I am hoping the first class will make me feel differently. We will see...
I haven't post any of my journals in forever, so I will today. This was yesterdays entry.
Breakfast:
Low sugar apple&cinnamon oatmeal: 120
Small banana: 100
Coffee w/ fat free milk: 30
Total: 250
Snack:
Kashi trail mix bar: 140
Lunch:
1 1/2 cup of low sodium veggie soup: 90
2 multigrain wispa crackers: 90
Apple: 80
Total: 260
Snack:
Cheddar rice cakes: 140
Dinner: (stir-fry type thing)
Serving size of whole grain pasta: 200
4 oz Chicken (broiled): 150
Roasted veggies: 50
Total: 400
Snack:
4 cups of popcorn: 100
2 small clementines: 60
Total: 160
Total for day: 1490 calories. Exercise: 30 min yoga-30 min treadmill. Water: 80 oz
See how much you could eat and lose weight? All I do is eat, it's insane..
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
New you tips.
I went to the gym this morning and WHOA, I had never seen it so packed on a Wednesday morning. I was so happy. So many people are really thinking of this new year as a fresh start to get healthy and feel great. There has also been an increase in the amount of people asking for my help. There is nothing I love and appreciate more than people coming to me for advice. I thought Id post some tips to help those who have asked , and those who just read this blog. I myself am looking at the new year as a fresh start, yes, I have lost over 100 pounds, but emotionally and some of my eating has been off. It is time to look toward the future, work hard, and kick ass.
1. Let it go. Do not think about all the times you have failed to lose weight before. It is in the past, you cannot change it. Those times do not reflect your drive to lose weight this time. You are not a failure. You can achieve this, and anything else you want, if you just work hard. The only thing you should reflect on is, why did you fail? Grab a piece of paper and write down the reasons you have failed before. That way, this time you can learn from those mistakes. After you've written them down, write down what you are going to do to change it, solutions to those prior issues. Then, if you are ever faced with the same issue, you will have the answer to look at right in front of you. It will be less discouraging. For example, maybe you failed before because you went on a binge then figured, well I ate a ton of crap, why continue to try? If that was my problem, my solution would be, to look at the bigger picture. One night of eating crap isn't going to make me gain weight, work even harder the next couple days. Learn from your mistakes. Do not give up, small failures are needed to grow and build willpower.
2. Set gym days. It's hard to go to the gym sometimes. Almost 2 years into this I still hate it every once in a while. Maybe start off my setting Monday and Thursday nights as your workout nights. Once you see the results of those 2 workouts in your weigh ins, you will be inspired to hit up the gym 1 or even 2 more days a week. If you miss some days, or even don't go for like 2 weeks (which I have) do NOT let it discourage you. Just go back to your set days.
3. Eat. You need to EAT to lose weight. 5 smaller meals a day. Load up with fruits and veggies. Try to stay away from processed foods, but if you want those chips or cookies, have the serving size. There is no harm in that what so ever. You can still go out to eat. Just make smart choices. Don't get burgers and fries, or stuff with bacon and cheese on it. We all know that's bad. Have the salads with low fat dressing, have a burger with only 1/2 the bun and no fries, substitute with veggies. Common sense. If you know something doesn't sound healthy, try to make it healthy. Also, do your research. Almost every restaurant, expect local ones, have web sites with all their nutritional info. Go in knowing exactly what you'll be getting, and the calories of it. Another easy way to eat healthier, do not drink (once in a while, fine). Alcohol is loaded with sugar and calories. Drink water and tea. Why drink your calories? 100 calories can of soda loaded with sugar... doesn't sound as good as an apple with some crackers, or toast with Cinnamon.
4. Celebrate. When you lose a pound, fit into your jeans better, go down a size. GO CRAZY. You should be so happy you did it. Even the littlest accomplishment should be celebrated. Tell you main supporters everything. Share the good and bad. They will help you and ultimately, you will learn to celebrate and be able to comfort yourself in your own head.
5. It's going to take time. It has taken me almost 2 years to lose 111 pounds. That's a little over 50 pounds a year. If your going to do this healthy, making it a lifestyle change, not a diet. It is going to take some time. That is something you just have to accept. There is no way around it. There are no pills, no drugs, nothing you can do to speed it up, unless you want to gain it all back. You need to learn to eat healthy and be active in a way you can continue for the rest of your life. If you lose weight by dieting, then go back to the way you used to be, you are going to gain the weight back, and then some. It is going to take a lot of time, but I promise you, in the end, it doesn't matter how long it takes, as long as you do it the healthy way.
Hope these tips help! Keep emailing your questions!
1. Let it go. Do not think about all the times you have failed to lose weight before. It is in the past, you cannot change it. Those times do not reflect your drive to lose weight this time. You are not a failure. You can achieve this, and anything else you want, if you just work hard. The only thing you should reflect on is, why did you fail? Grab a piece of paper and write down the reasons you have failed before. That way, this time you can learn from those mistakes. After you've written them down, write down what you are going to do to change it, solutions to those prior issues. Then, if you are ever faced with the same issue, you will have the answer to look at right in front of you. It will be less discouraging. For example, maybe you failed before because you went on a binge then figured, well I ate a ton of crap, why continue to try? If that was my problem, my solution would be, to look at the bigger picture. One night of eating crap isn't going to make me gain weight, work even harder the next couple days. Learn from your mistakes. Do not give up, small failures are needed to grow and build willpower.
2. Set gym days. It's hard to go to the gym sometimes. Almost 2 years into this I still hate it every once in a while. Maybe start off my setting Monday and Thursday nights as your workout nights. Once you see the results of those 2 workouts in your weigh ins, you will be inspired to hit up the gym 1 or even 2 more days a week. If you miss some days, or even don't go for like 2 weeks (which I have) do NOT let it discourage you. Just go back to your set days.
3. Eat. You need to EAT to lose weight. 5 smaller meals a day. Load up with fruits and veggies. Try to stay away from processed foods, but if you want those chips or cookies, have the serving size. There is no harm in that what so ever. You can still go out to eat. Just make smart choices. Don't get burgers and fries, or stuff with bacon and cheese on it. We all know that's bad. Have the salads with low fat dressing, have a burger with only 1/2 the bun and no fries, substitute with veggies. Common sense. If you know something doesn't sound healthy, try to make it healthy. Also, do your research. Almost every restaurant, expect local ones, have web sites with all their nutritional info. Go in knowing exactly what you'll be getting, and the calories of it. Another easy way to eat healthier, do not drink (once in a while, fine). Alcohol is loaded with sugar and calories. Drink water and tea. Why drink your calories? 100 calories can of soda loaded with sugar... doesn't sound as good as an apple with some crackers, or toast with Cinnamon.
4. Celebrate. When you lose a pound, fit into your jeans better, go down a size. GO CRAZY. You should be so happy you did it. Even the littlest accomplishment should be celebrated. Tell you main supporters everything. Share the good and bad. They will help you and ultimately, you will learn to celebrate and be able to comfort yourself in your own head.
5. It's going to take time. It has taken me almost 2 years to lose 111 pounds. That's a little over 50 pounds a year. If your going to do this healthy, making it a lifestyle change, not a diet. It is going to take some time. That is something you just have to accept. There is no way around it. There are no pills, no drugs, nothing you can do to speed it up, unless you want to gain it all back. You need to learn to eat healthy and be active in a way you can continue for the rest of your life. If you lose weight by dieting, then go back to the way you used to be, you are going to gain the weight back, and then some. It is going to take a lot of time, but I promise you, in the end, it doesn't matter how long it takes, as long as you do it the healthy way.
Hope these tips help! Keep emailing your questions!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
2012.
Am I the only one sad to see 2011 go?
What an amazing year it was. I had so much success in many aspects. I lost over 70 pounds, did an amazing job in school, and feel like overall, I grew and became a better person. I'm not sure if I could ever top this past year, but I learned so many new things that hopefully 2012 is just as great and I have as much, if not more personal successes.
I have clearly been neglecting my blog. Only 2 post in the month of December is sad. I will be honest though, I haven't had much to write about. Things have been okay. I am down 111 pounds all together. My weigh ins are going well. There is one problem though- I have hit an emotional road block. Everyone I have talked too, or have seen on shows that lose a significant amount of weight hit a strange emotional plateau. Their weight loss slows, or even stops because of things going on in their heads. Whatever their battle may be, it hurts the weight loss aspect, but a lot of internal growth takes place.
My battle? Letting go of the past. I want too so bad. I want to stop thinking of myself as someone who used to weigh almost 300 pounds. I just want to start thinking of myself as a healthy, happy, hard working person. I have changed in every single way, and sometimes it is hard for me not to feel lost. It has been quite an adjustment. So, I made my new years resolution this- I want to think in the now, and not think like the old me anymore. I need to say goodbye to the past, and look forward to my amazing future, which I worked my ass off to achieve. I have conquered so much thus far, this is just another thing to accomplish.
Moving forward, as always, I am enthusiastic. I am excited to keep going, and lose more weight. I am so happy with the way I feel and look. I bought my first pair of non-plus size jeans last week, and went on my first shopping trip without even entering a plus size store... YES! -Officially a size 10 (from a 24). I want to lose another 20 pounds. Then my ultimate goal will be reached.
I hope everyone has a very happy new year.I tell everyone this- you can achieve ANYTHING you want, it just takes a shit load of time and hard work. & I hope you achieve everything you set out too.
HAPPY 2012!
What an amazing year it was. I had so much success in many aspects. I lost over 70 pounds, did an amazing job in school, and feel like overall, I grew and became a better person. I'm not sure if I could ever top this past year, but I learned so many new things that hopefully 2012 is just as great and I have as much, if not more personal successes.
I have clearly been neglecting my blog. Only 2 post in the month of December is sad. I will be honest though, I haven't had much to write about. Things have been okay. I am down 111 pounds all together. My weigh ins are going well. There is one problem though- I have hit an emotional road block. Everyone I have talked too, or have seen on shows that lose a significant amount of weight hit a strange emotional plateau. Their weight loss slows, or even stops because of things going on in their heads. Whatever their battle may be, it hurts the weight loss aspect, but a lot of internal growth takes place.
My battle? Letting go of the past. I want too so bad. I want to stop thinking of myself as someone who used to weigh almost 300 pounds. I just want to start thinking of myself as a healthy, happy, hard working person. I have changed in every single way, and sometimes it is hard for me not to feel lost. It has been quite an adjustment. So, I made my new years resolution this- I want to think in the now, and not think like the old me anymore. I need to say goodbye to the past, and look forward to my amazing future, which I worked my ass off to achieve. I have conquered so much thus far, this is just another thing to accomplish.
Moving forward, as always, I am enthusiastic. I am excited to keep going, and lose more weight. I am so happy with the way I feel and look. I bought my first pair of non-plus size jeans last week, and went on my first shopping trip without even entering a plus size store... YES! -Officially a size 10 (from a 24). I want to lose another 20 pounds. Then my ultimate goal will be reached.
I hope everyone has a very happy new year.I tell everyone this- you can achieve ANYTHING you want, it just takes a shit load of time and hard work. & I hope you achieve everything you set out too.
HAPPY 2012!
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