I knew I lost weight this week, I could just feel it. I had a great week in terms of calories, and I got to work out, YAY!
I lost 2.2 pounds, and that brings my over-all total to 107.6 pounds lost.
Yesterday, I was sitting around waiting to go to work, I turned on the TV and saw "The Heaviest Women" on Dr.Phil. Of course it caught my eye, and I watched some of it. I have never felt so horrible for someone in my entire life. She felt trapped in her body. She could barley walk, and was literally on her death bed. I know how she feels. I never felt so disgusting and horrible when I was at my heaviest. I couldn't fit in an airplane seat, I got winded when I walked up the 13 stairs in my house. It hurt to just wake up in the morning. I know I was never 645 pounds like she is, but I was up there, I know I have never shared my weigh on my blog. That is something I'm not sure If I am comfortable with. I will however tell you at my heaviest, my BMI was a 48. That my friends is second class morbid obesity. I have gotten that number down almost 20 points. For that, I am thankful.
I am so thankful that I was able to turn my life around when I did. I was on a scary path. I could have gone another way. I could be sitting here right now even heavier than I was, feeling horrible about myself. I am just so thankful for what I have been able to accomplish. Thankful for all my family and friends constant support and love. I am thankful for my incredible boyfriend Joe, who has loved me for the past almost 5 years, before and during this long journey.I cannot put into words how much I am truly thankful for my life. I have been on both sides now. I know what it feels like to not be happy, and not know how to change it. I also know how it feels to accomplish something so difficult, and be truly proud of myself. Changing my own life was just the beginning, I am so thankful that so many people have come to me for help and support for their own weight loss journeys. That is what makes this whole process worth it, I can inspire and help others.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all :)
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Knew it.
I knew it. This week, zero, again...
I just keep reminding myself I was prepared for this. I knew this semester was going to be tough and busy. I knew that I wasn't going to be left with much time to work out and focus 100% on my weight loss. Since the start of the semester I have lost 11 pounds. I am proud of that. I am proud that the past 2 weeks I have just maintained, and not gained. I need to start realizing things can't always be perfect. The semester is over in less than a month. I am so motivated to kick serious ass during my break. I have an entire month off. I cannot tell you how excited I am. I still want this, I still have weight to lose. I think what is frustrating me the most is how bad I do want to work out, and how bad I want to lose weight. The time just isn't there. Student teaching, finals, head teaching week and a new job. I just need to hang in there for a couple more weeks. Things will slow down a lot after December 9th. I cannot wait to start feeling wonderful again :)
I also have to stay positive, I have been feeling terrible about myself the past few days. I need to start realizing how far I have come- 105 pounds to be exact.
I just keep reminding myself I was prepared for this. I knew this semester was going to be tough and busy. I knew that I wasn't going to be left with much time to work out and focus 100% on my weight loss. Since the start of the semester I have lost 11 pounds. I am proud of that. I am proud that the past 2 weeks I have just maintained, and not gained. I need to start realizing things can't always be perfect. The semester is over in less than a month. I am so motivated to kick serious ass during my break. I have an entire month off. I cannot tell you how excited I am. I still want this, I still have weight to lose. I think what is frustrating me the most is how bad I do want to work out, and how bad I want to lose weight. The time just isn't there. Student teaching, finals, head teaching week and a new job. I just need to hang in there for a couple more weeks. Things will slow down a lot after December 9th. I cannot wait to start feeling wonderful again :)
I also have to stay positive, I have been feeling terrible about myself the past few days. I need to start realizing how far I have come- 105 pounds to be exact.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Honestly,
I need to be totally honest here. Thing have not been ideal. I will just cut to the chase-
I haven't gain weight, I am still on track with my weight and eating healthy, however, I have not worked out since October 29 and I have been neglecting my food journal. I have been so overwhelmed by the amount of school work I have had, I have been putting this entire journey aside, and it makes me so angry. I do not want this any less then I did almost 2 years ago, probably more. Seeing myself reach that 100 pound goal showed me a lot about myself, I can succeed at anything. It has always been hard for me to balance things in my life, and it is being challenged now more than ever. School work, head teaching week coming up, starting a new job tomorrow, while still mainting a healthy, losing lifestyle. IT IS THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER HAD TO DO. I know deep down I can do it. I knew this semester would be hard, and I wouldn't lose as much every week as I am use too, with all the mental preparation in the world, it is still not okay with me. I feel like I am settling for this, when I know I could be doing so much better. I should still be losing consistently, writing in my food journal EVERYDAY and working out a minimum of 3 times a week. But when I have the busiest days ever, and I am completely exhausted by 7pm, the last thing I want to do is go to the gym. I am not complaining, I am just talking reality, a reality I know most people have to deal with. I have come to this conclusion. There is a reason why many people are overweight and unhealthy. Most of them are not lazy, they are just busy. It is so time consuming to prepare and pack an entire days worth of healthy food for the next day, compared to just stopping at the nearest fast food place. I am learning this now. However, for me, it is worth it. I know I will never go back to my old ways, it isn't an option. I am just seeing and understanding now why it is so hard for most busy people to lose weight.
Here are my goals moving forward to get myself completely back on track:
Write in my food journal EVERYDAY, no exceptions.
Go for at least a walk, or do my Pilates 3 times a week (if Im too tired or busy to go to the gym)
When I start my new job, never buy food at the mall, pack food for my entire shift.
Continue my healthy eating, even though the holidays are coming up.
I know I can do this, I know I can get fully back on track regardless of my insane schedule. School is over in a month, then I will really start losing to my full potential again, I know it.
I haven't gain weight, I am still on track with my weight and eating healthy, however, I have not worked out since October 29 and I have been neglecting my food journal. I have been so overwhelmed by the amount of school work I have had, I have been putting this entire journey aside, and it makes me so angry. I do not want this any less then I did almost 2 years ago, probably more. Seeing myself reach that 100 pound goal showed me a lot about myself, I can succeed at anything. It has always been hard for me to balance things in my life, and it is being challenged now more than ever. School work, head teaching week coming up, starting a new job tomorrow, while still mainting a healthy, losing lifestyle. IT IS THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER HAD TO DO. I know deep down I can do it. I knew this semester would be hard, and I wouldn't lose as much every week as I am use too, with all the mental preparation in the world, it is still not okay with me. I feel like I am settling for this, when I know I could be doing so much better. I should still be losing consistently, writing in my food journal EVERYDAY and working out a minimum of 3 times a week. But when I have the busiest days ever, and I am completely exhausted by 7pm, the last thing I want to do is go to the gym. I am not complaining, I am just talking reality, a reality I know most people have to deal with. I have come to this conclusion. There is a reason why many people are overweight and unhealthy. Most of them are not lazy, they are just busy. It is so time consuming to prepare and pack an entire days worth of healthy food for the next day, compared to just stopping at the nearest fast food place. I am learning this now. However, for me, it is worth it. I know I will never go back to my old ways, it isn't an option. I am just seeing and understanding now why it is so hard for most busy people to lose weight.
Here are my goals moving forward to get myself completely back on track:
Write in my food journal EVERYDAY, no exceptions.
Go for at least a walk, or do my Pilates 3 times a week (if Im too tired or busy to go to the gym)
When I start my new job, never buy food at the mall, pack food for my entire shift.
Continue my healthy eating, even though the holidays are coming up.
I know I can do this, I know I can get fully back on track regardless of my insane schedule. School is over in a month, then I will really start losing to my full potential again, I know it.
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