I am 5'5, weigh 176 pounds, and am a size 10/12. So, I think it is safe to say that I have accomplished what I wanted over 2 and a half years ago. I am normal. I know I have talked about that more than once. However, if you were in my shoes, I think you would understand how hard it is to accept.
Much has happened in the almost month I haven't posted. My life was completely flipped upside down to say the least. I went from not eating, and dropping 8.8 pounds in a week to basically stuffing my face. Breakups are hard, and this being my first one- I just sort of went with the flow. I was surprised at my body's reaction to the stress and sadness. Again, not eating for 4 days is something I would have never thought I would do, my life revolves around food. When I was finally able to eat, I wanted to REALLY eat. It was not emotional eating, I recognized that very quickly. I was just, hungry, all day. I didn't go crazy, I just allowed myself to eat what I wanted and when I wanted it. I put on about 3 pounds. No big deal, that was going to happen anyway after my crazy weight loss. Right now I am in a good place. I am fine. I am actually better than fine, I am great. Yes, this past month or so has been a roller coaster of depression and stress, but at the same time, I have never been so happy. It is crazy that once you are taken out of a situation, the amount of things you realize and discover, and the people you meet.
Has my weight loss been my number one priority? No. I am okay with that though. I feel so comfortable and for the first time, 100% okay with my size and the way I look. That in itself is a tiny success in my never ending journey. I do not feel fat anymore, ever. That's nuts. I am beginning to learn my limits, and I am keeping myself in check all day, everyday. I know what I can eat and can't. It isn't even anything I need to think about, I just do it. I am also maintaing this 175-177ish weight which for me, is fine for now.
I will finish what I started. I will reach my 155 pound goal. It is just a matter of when. I am trying to figuring out my new life right now, I am re- assessing my priorities, and getting ready to start teaching full time in August, which is going to be a huge adjustment. I have said this from the beginning, life gets in the way. This was going to be my summer to reach my ultimate goal. Did I plan on doing so while going through a break up? No. I am not going to be hard on myself this time. For just this once, I need to focus on stuff going on in my head. When I am ready, it will happen. Don't lose faith in me- because surprisingly, I haven't lost it in myself.
Here is another before and after.
The before was last June, I weighed about 212lbs, and the after was yesterday. Crazy what a year can do...!
