This just wasn't the week.

Going into this morning's weigh in I did not have my hopes set on my 1 pound loss. I feel terribly bloated from being on my monthly joy ride (of course it would happen THIS week of all weeks) and I just knew it wasn't going to happen. I'm up a half pound, but that's no big deal at all. This week has been really crappy to say the least. I have been extremely tired, in pain and just lethargic. It's also been disgusting wet and humid weather. I wouldn't want to reach my goal this week, it didn't feel like a memorable week, this felt like the type of week I just want to forget quickly. My average calories was 1645 and I had two very good workouts.
The positive thing out of all this, unless I get eaten by a shark this coming week, I WILL lose that pound and a half on Thursday. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind. I am so excited. The anticipation is going to drive me nuts simply because it's going to happen. I am just excited to put this week behind me, stay positive, and have all my hard work pay off for my next weigh in. How do you celebrate losing 100 pounds? I need some ideas...

one.

I have been so busy yet again. School work is starting to pick up, and I'm producing Joe's short film. I am having a blast- just left with very little time for myself. My weigh in this past Thursday was NUTS. I lost 3.2 pounds, bringing my total loss to 99 pounds. I am officially 1 pound away from my goal. It really hasn't even hit me yet that I am this close. I have worked so, so hard for this and it is almost here.. mind blowing.

3 days until my weigh in and I feel pretty confident. I got my period yesterday, so HOPEFULLY it doesn't mess me up on the scale this week. It usually does. If it does, oh well, I cant really do much about water weight. If it doesn't then hell yes, I will reach my goal! I am not upset about it cause I'm so close, and I know if I don't do it this week, I will 100% for sure reach it next week. I don't want to put any pressure what so ever on myself. Being so close it is possible for me to get super stressed out, but I'm not going to do that. I am basically there, unofficially there,close enough. Seeing my 100 pound loss on the scale though will seriously be the happiest moment of my life. Just going to see what my body does. However, you can bet all your marbles ill be kicking ass this week!

Weigh in # ? lost track...

I am so angry. I gained a pound! I do not understand why this happened. My average calories for the week was 1635 (lowest in a while) and I had 3 great workouts. This to me, is total bullshit. The only thing I can honestly say that may have cause this is my mindset this week. Ive been super busy, stressed, distracted and tired. I have been feeling so doubtful about all of this, and then this is what happens. It has happened before.

Moving forward I need to just stay positive and realize I can do this. I am so close but feel so, so far away. We will see how next Thursday's goes...

Doubt.

This may sound psycho, but ,lately I have been doubting myself.

I was just looking through my old posts and realized I have felt this way before. Just completely unmotivated and blah. I do NOT understand why. I am 3 teeny tiny pounds away from losing 100 pounds. I should be running in circles all day. I'm not though. I'm tired- I feel like I cant do it.
This is making me so mad. I know I have  A LOT of distractions right now- and I hope that that is all this whole thing is. After my last weigh in, I have just felt so... scared. I'm terrified I wont be able to pull this off. What if I just stay at 97 pounds lost? What if  I gain all this weight back? I wont, I know I wont. I just feel uneasy. I think I always feel this way before a big weigh in- but this is the ultimate weigh in. This weigh in will literally change me.

I'm crying as I write this- I want to lose my 100. Ive worked so hard. This was the worst time my mind could have picked to go all crazy on me. We will see how Thursday goes..

Another before and after (so far!)

Since I'm so close to my 100, I thought another before and after was in order... these are close ups!

Only 3 pounds to go!

I have lost 97 pounds! CRAZY. I am so close to my 100 I can taste it. This week I lost 2.8 pounds and I couldn't be happier. I am finally getting used to my new crazy schedule, and to make it even better, working out and eating healthy fits right in. I think at this point all the planning and routines are just natural to me. Things couldn't be better. I am so excited its insane.

So close!

As most of you probably can tell by my lack of posts that I have been crazy busy. After my last post, I have been on the move. The start of school this year has probably been the most stressful. I went from  having a nice, relaxing summer to having to wake up at 6:30am everyday. I know a lot of people wake up at crazier hours, but when you are not used to it, it truly sucks. It is something I hope I get used to quickly.

On top of all the stress, I have been feeling really sick. I got my period about 2 weeks early for what ever reason (that's why my weigh in this past Thursday was off) and I think I have a stomach bug or something. Every time I eat, I get an insane stomach ache. The past couple of days things have gotten better, but last week it was pretty bad.

Being back in school is a huge challenge for me to continue my healthy eating. I can't just grab fast food anymore in between classes. I am in serious planning mode every night for the next day. I set up my breakfast for the morning, that way I have more time to sit and eat. I pack all my snacks for the next day and my lunch. This takes a lot of time but I know it's worth it. So far- I have been working out of my house and taking online classes during my whole journey. This is the first time I'm actually out and about all day and have little to no time to sit and eat and work out. Being so close to my 100 pound goal (5 pounds away!) I would be crazy and stupid to let that affect me at all. I just need to plan things out. I need to have set work out times and do my best.

Reaching my 100 pound weigh loss goal will literally be the greatest achievement of my life. I know a lot of people are rooting for me and I can't wait to make myself and every else proud.

I am really looking forward to this Thursday- how much closer will I be?!  :)