Doubt.

This may sound psycho, but ,lately I have been doubting myself.

I was just looking through my old posts and realized I have felt this way before. Just completely unmotivated and blah. I do NOT understand why. I am 3 teeny tiny pounds away from losing 100 pounds. I should be running in circles all day. I'm not though. I'm tired- I feel like I cant do it.
This is making me so mad. I know I have  A LOT of distractions right now- and I hope that that is all this whole thing is. After my last weigh in, I have just felt so... scared. I'm terrified I wont be able to pull this off. What if I just stay at 97 pounds lost? What if  I gain all this weight back? I wont, I know I wont. I just feel uneasy. I think I always feel this way before a big weigh in- but this is the ultimate weigh in. This weigh in will literally change me.

I'm crying as I write this- I want to lose my 100. Ive worked so hard. This was the worst time my mind could have picked to go all crazy on me. We will see how Thursday goes..