-100.4 pounds. I did it!

1 year, 7 months and 12 days ago I made a choice, a choice I had mad so many times before. I wanted to lose weight. I can't explain why this time worked, or why this time was different, but I succeeded. I achieved something today I have wanted for 11 years. I have officially lost over 100 pounds.

When I stepped on the scale thing morning, waiting for the lines to stop blinking and my weight to pop up, I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest, or my knees would give out. When the number finally showed it's self, I felt like a 1000 pound weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I covered my mouth with my hands, and started to cry. It was literally the best, and most satisfying moment of my life. I did it. All of my hard work was worth it.

When I began this process all I cared about was getting skinny. As time went on, the pounds shed and I felt better I realized that isn't even why I was doing this. I was doing this because I was sick of wasting my time. I'm still so young and I was living my life like an old women. Tired all the time, lazy, never wanted to do anything or go anywhere or see anybody. I cannot tell you how much the health aspect out weighs the skinny aspect. The amount of energy I have now is something I have never experienced before. I want to take on the world, and after this achievement I know I can. Emotionally,I am healed. Depression, hatred and anxiety ruled my world before my weight loss. Now, I feel like I have a permanent smile plasterd across my face, and that's just fine with me.  I needed to lose weight to live, as simple as that. I know when everyone loses weight they say this, but I seriously mean it. If I can do this, ANYONE can.

The most rewarding things that have come out of this process is  knowing this journey was totally mine. I lost this weight on my own. I did not get any surgeries, I didn't take diet pills, I didn't do drugs, I didn't starve myself, I just ate healthy and exercised. The other reward has been the amount of support I have received.  I started this blog to share my story in hopes that it would inspire others, and I feel it did just that. When people see my now, and they tell me what an inspiration I am, it makes sharing every fuck up, and horrible weigh in results worth it. Knowing I helped at least one person makes this all worth it.

My journey is far from over. This will never be over. Only 5% of people who were obese that lose weight actually keep it off. I WILL be in that 5%. I cannot picture my life any other way. I cannot mentally wrap my brain around ever going back to my old ways. It will never happen. My journey is a healthy lifestyle change, not a diet.

Thank you to everyone who has helped in even the slightest bit to get where I am today, you have no idea that impact you have made on me. This is such an indescribable feeling.